RepressedPhilosophizing

Post It Note to God

2006-06-13T12:47:00.000-07:00

Dear God,

Thanks for giving me a daddy. You knew just what I’d need! In case you need to make daddies for other kids, I thought you might like to know what I like best about the one you sent me:

He knows everything (like how to tie shoes and drive a car)
He is really smart (he can make my mom laugh and get out of trouble)
He is brave (once he killed a snake in the garden)
He has a forgiving heart (for when I mess up)
He is loaded with patience (he probably won’t need it, but just in case...)
He is my friend and plays with me
And he tells me all about You and Your son.

Your friend,
Karen

P.S. I almost left out the best part! A good dad has real strong arms (to catch me when I fall. He says You’re just like that, too.)

Peace Like a River

2006-06-05T07:26:00.000-07:00

I attended a funeral yesterday and was struck by the display of grief from those left behind. Namely, a 13 year old son, heartbroken over the loss of his daddy.

I have always been moved by the story of Horatio Spafford and his penning the words to "It Is Well With My Soul" while visiting the watery grave-site of his four daughters who were lost in the Atlantic. My favorite verse of the song is as follows,

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blessed assurance control,
That Christ hath regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

How beautiful to think that Christ Himself regards our heartache. There is something in grief that connects us more closely with our Maker. Maybe it is that when our hearts are broken, it makes more room for Him to come in. I don't know.

The Pastor giving the eulogy spoke familiar words, "Thank God for Jesus. We couldn't make it in this world without Him."

As he spoke, my mind drifted to Adam and Eve and what it must have been like for the perfect love they had and were experiencing to be suddenly ripped out, leaving them fraught with insecurity and void. Forever since, mankind has been searching for love and acceptance and meaning and satisfaction. Searching for Eden, really. To know and be known and to love and be loved.

How wonderful that out greatest need was God's greatest desire for us; that we would know Him and love Him and know His great love in return. To me, this is the fragrant melody that Jesus calls out to each of us and when life plunges us below the surface, we hear Him singing into our souls "peace like a river."

God And Pancakes

2006-05-31T20:43:00.000-07:00

Two thoughts:

One...
I am growing tiresome of pseudo-intellectual Christian types making Christianity all boil down to an equation of sorts. Systematic this and that - since when is following Jesus and being in love just like math?

And Two...
Just when I think I have God figured out I realize that I don't truly understand Him any more than the pancakes I made for breakfast today understands me... Creator and created - deal...

going Over The Hedge

2006-05-19T21:25:00.000-07:00

I went out amongst the throngs of Friday night movie goers to follow Stevie Critics (he's my bro, so I'm obliged) advice to "othercott" The DaVinci Code. Over the Hedge was a most enjoyable film with lots of laugh out loud moments. The main premise was this group of woodland critters who, at the spurring of a racoon, go over the hedge surrounding them into the world of humans. The interactions are hilarious! Bonus was that the theater was PACKED!!! Not so bonus, all of the DVC showings for the night were Sold Out...

Interestingly enough there were a few protestors in front of the theater with big giant signs that read "I LOVE OUR LORD AND SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST. I REJECT THE DAVINCI CODE" I am always intrigued by protestors, I think passion is a good thing and while it may not be my personal style to protest, I have to hope that it encouraged the faith of the people standing on the corner holding their signs. I'm not sure it did much to sway the crowds from seeing the film, but they were there, expressing themselves and I'm all for it.

It's funny, I can see myself a bit in both the protestors as well as the people making fun of them (sadly) but I think I am learning to appreciate both angles. I was reminded in Mercy Now's latest blog that we are supposed to love on people, pure and simple (although it is rarely either). Jesus won the world by His love, not his disapproval. He was honest and saw people for who they were but didn't make them feel like losers for it, rather, made a point of loving them just because that's what He was about. I'm not saying throw away conviction, not at all, embrace it. But to embrace conviction without grace for others is to embrace the ocean without leaving the shore. it's all idealogy and no reality...

go over the hedge, it's much more exciting there...

Missions Week Idea

2006-05-12T11:01:00.000-07:00

I've had an idea rolling around in my brain that I want to throw out to each of you for your consideration. Most of you know that I am going to South Africa in July/August and that I have developed a deep love for the people there. I can't wait to go...

We are targeting the high risk teenagers in impoverished living conditions, I did a bit of research on what their lives are like and come across a few statistics (via http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Demographics_of_South_Africa ). The average Black African household in South Africa makes approximately $1800/annually - yep, annually, or $150/month or $35/week... actually, i think based upon this being an average - this is probably high for some of the areas we have been/will be in.

So here's my idea. I think it would be cool to live for a week (Sunday - Friday) on the budget of a Black South African - $35. In light of gas prices this does not include gas... immediately, this knocks Starbucks out for me, but here's the catch (there's always a catch) when you want to spend money on something else - be it eating out or going to a movie or buying some clothes or whatever it is and it falls beyond the $35 budget - you put that money aside. At the end of the week - whatever money is put aside you give it to a local mission or charity organization. And DON'T just send a check - go down to the charity or missions office and give your donation to them face to face. Find out what their needs are how you can pray and help them in the future. Make it PERSONAL!!!

I'm thinking May 21 - May 26. Let me know what you think and pass it on...

Pictures of Paris, France & Cape Town, South Africa

2006-04-27T17:58:00.000-07:00

Below are a few pictures of my trips to Paris (February) and Cape Town (March/April)...

Paris was SO beautiful. The architecture was a language of its own and I enjoyed wandering the streets and occasionally pausing to look up at the amazing buildings all around me.

Welcome to Cape Town, South Africa!

These boys live in the Barcelona HIVorphanage. They were so cute and loved posing it up for the camera. They live in a Squatter Village in Cape Town - Barcelona. Their village has roughly 5,000 people living in it with an 80% HIV+ rate. The kids are the smallest victims of this awful disease and a sweet Pastor and his wife have started carrying for them.

This girl on the left was found trying to nurse on her mother who had been dead for 2 days from HIV. She is only 3 years old. The girl I am holding is named Gift and when her mother found out that she and her baby were HIV positive, she put her baby girl in a garbage bag and threw her in a dumpster. A neighbor saw this and pulled Gift out of the trash and brought her to the orphanage. She wanted me to hold her the entire time and it broke my heart to leave her behind.

These are a few pictures I took while driving along Chapman's Peak towards the Cape of Good Hope. Cape Town is a beautiful natural landscape with winding mountain roads and ocean dipped cliffs.

The beaches were gorgeous. I saw some monster waves at Muisinberg Beach. The coastline has one of the highest white shark populations in the world. The locals don't seem to mind as there were surfers on every beach. The sailboat picture is right outside the home we stayed in. You can see the faint outline of the other side of the cove behind the sailboat.

Cute kids at a school we visited.

This little girl looks like Buckwheat's sister from the Little Rascals - awesome! Above is a good example of what most Squatter Village homes look like - corrugated metal and aluminum siding pieces nailed onto a basic four wall structure. South Africa is one of the few countries where 1st world and 3rd world conditions are living side by side.

Can You Hear Me?

2006-04-18T11:58:00.000-07:00

"Then He returned to His disciples and found them sleeping" Mark 14:37a

Have you ever wondered why the disciples couldn't manage to keep their eyes open while Jesus agonized only steps away? I confess to having judged their actions. I can't help but think, "Come on, guys! You have Jesus, "the" Jesus, and he's done all these super amazing things in front of you and YOU can't even manage to stay awake. He's asked a simple request, ‘watch and pray’, and you can't even do that - pitiful."

On a few occasions growing up I would get the full-name greeting from my mom followed by, "Are you listening to me?" (I learned quickly that the use of my middle name was NOT a good thing). This question was followed up with a slow repeat of whatever it was that I was supposed to be doing or not doing at the time and then a threat of the consequence I would endure if I didn't straighten up. You could judge a lot by the tone of my mom's voice. You still can...

I wonder what Jesus' tone was with His disciples? Was He angry, was He exhausted, was He sad? Whatever the tone, there was one thing their actions displayed, they didn't get it.

I really like that Jesus came back twice to His disciples. He keeps giving them chances to do the right thing. He still does that.

Random, but I once asked God to speak out loud to me. I was in my car, feeling very "in touch" and having a good conversation with the Maker of the Universe about all sorts of things when I was overcome with wanting to hear Him speak. I began to pray, "Please God, I want to hear You! I want to know the pleasure of Your voice! Please, I want to hear you out loud!" A few minutes passed while I listened as hard as I could and nothing happened. Then, out of the blue, I heard God speak, not out loud like I had asked, but in my deepest part of my soul and do you know what He said? "Read your Bible out loud. Then you will hear My voice." I got the point...

Sometimes what we hear and what we hear are two different things. If you are asking God to speak to you, be reminded that He may use an unconventional method to get across His message. Whatever the means though, what a comforting thought that our Savior keeps coming to us with His beautiful words.

Are you listening?

South Africa Trip

2006-04-05T11:03:00.000-07:00

I got off the plane at 8:30 this morning and after 20 hours of flying I must be touched in the head, but I am at work. Time to make the donuts or something...

This trip was unlike any other I have been on in that much of the time was spent in preparation work for the bigger trip in July/August. We spent a great deal of time hearing the needs of local Pastors and Youth Pastors and it struck me that, at our very core, all people are the same. We all start as kids with dreams of being a cowboy or rock star or teacher or mommy or whatever and then somewhere in our teenage years those dreams either develop or die. We become people of purpose or people existing. I read a statistic issued by the South African government that 70f their population is under the age of 19. That is staggering and obviously indicative of the HIV pandemic they are facing. In light of this, I am more convinced than ever that investing in the teenagers of South Africa and telling these kids, that in many cases society has deemed as useless, that they are valuable and wanted by God. And by more than just words people with flesh and blood will give their time to show them that love.

The government's response to this issue is condomization (I made that word up, I think, but you get the point) "Wrap it up for Safety" was everywhere and I kept thinking that they were treating symptoms without dealing with the problem. Which actually, makes sense to me though. Jesus called us, you and me, to be lights to a dark world - not our governments or kings or whoever is calling the shots. If our neighbor is in need - WE need to be the solution not just an impersonal check from a stranger. I love that I have so many diverse friends who in their own way roll up their sleeves and aren't afraid to get some of the dirt of lost people on their own selves in order to show love and compassion. This inspires me. This is Jesus. This is being a light and a city set on a hill.

In one particular orphanage, the Barcelona Informal Settlement, we met Pastor Julius and his wife Irene. Julius is a black man (they would call him African in Cape Town) and during Apartheid was a voice calling for unity among blacks, whites and coloreds (that's what they call mixed races or Indians). This call for peace led the blacks in his community to murder his teenage son and leave him on their door step with his throat slit. This was in the 90's. Five years ago, Julius and his wife would drive past Barcelona and pray at the entrance because they were afraid to drive in. One evening God spoke to Julius in a dream and called him to go there to those people, he was afraid and asked God for more confirmation - God did just that by speaking to Irene in the same manner.

Fast forward, three years ago Julius and Irene sold their home and moved into Barcelona. In June 2005 someone left a child on their doorstep who had been orphaned by AIDS. They weren't sure what to do other than take care of this baby girl. Since then they have taken in ten additional children, most of whom are HIV positive. They had know idea that God was bringing them there to open an orphanage, but that is what it seems He is up to.

There was one little girl who was around three years old that I instantly connected with. Her name was Gift (they relate names with circumstance and most of the children in the orphanage have been given new names). She was precocious and adorable. I was reminded of conversations I had with my Uncle Charlie (who died of AIDS related complications) that when you have HIV, people don't touch you anymore and you miss the simple pleasure of human contact. I am teary now just thinking about that sweet little girl and the few minutes of loving affection I was able to give her. Again, it brings me back to the point of how God longs for us to know how deeply we are valued and loved and accepted. I want to be a voice to these children of that message.

Obviously you can tell that I am still "full" from this trip. I will write more when I have digested the experience and SLEPT. I took lots of photos as well and will be posting them soon. Thanks for all the prayers that were sent up on my behalf. It was a wonderful trip and I am excited for the dreams God is giving me for Africa.

Faith that Works

2006-03-21T12:18:00.000-08:00

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." Hebrews 11:1

When God called an old man named Abram into the desert - He didn't show him a map or a family tree, He told him to obey and follow. When He called Moses through a fiery plant, He didn't lay out a plan of escape or attack, He told him to go and speak. When Jesus asked rough handed (and I'm sure rougher mouthed) fishermen to leave their poles and nets, He didn't give them a prospectus on how to change the world - He just called them to follow.

You know why we have heard these stories? Simply put; these ordinary characters did what they were asked and as a result became a part of something extraordinary.

I can't help but think that I have rarely experienced life-changing, mountain-moving, no-explanation-other-than-God kind of FAITH simply because when He has come a calling - I have pulled out a notepad and responded with a list of questions... Sometimes He answers because His patience is everlasting, but sometimes I wonder if He simply moves on to someone else...
worth considering......

Blue Like Jazz

2006-02-09T12:12:00.000-08:00

I picked up the book Blue Like Jazz on a whim after having seen it on a friend’s Xanga. After having read the first few chapters, I am intrigued. This book is honest and when it comes to all things religious, this sentiment is often overlooked in fear of appearing less than together. The author dives into the book by discussing his own childhood and how it seems oxymoronic for God to refer to Himself as a Father when our world is riddled with so few good examples of what that word means. Interesting question and no, I'm not going to attempt an answer...

His main thought thus far that has captured me is the premise that we are all flawed - something in us is fundamentally broken. I am curious to read more of his transparent journey towards something more than just actions and re-actions. He quotes a poem by CS Lewis that is so honest it makes me uncomfortable, but isn't that Christianity in it's essence? Embracing a Savior who (like He did with Peter) takes our broken lives (especially the ugliest dirty parts) and sitting us uncomfortably down as His perfection wipes the sin stain off.

Sit in the chair, let Jesus roll up His sleeves and wash your feet too. It's painful to reveal our dirt to anyone, let alone the One who was crucified for it, but it's the only way to be clean and it's definitely the only way to be free.

As the Ruin Falls

All this is flashy rhetoric about loving you.
I never had a selfless thought since I was born.
I am mercenary and self-seeking through and through:
I want God, you, all friends, merely to serve my turn.

Peace, re-assurance, pleasure, are the goals I seek,
I cannot crawl one inch outside my proper skin:
I talk of love --a scholar's parrot may talk Greek--
But, self-imprisoned, always end where I begin.

Only that now you have taught me (but how late) my lack.
I see the chasm. And everything you are was making
My heart into a bridge by which I might get back
From exile, and grow man.
And now the bridge is breaking.

For this I bless you as the ruin falls.
The pains You give me are more precious than all other gains.

-CS Lewis

Faith that Walks

2006-01-25T11:56:00.000-08:00

Having grown up in Florida near the Atlantic ocean - the beach is one of my favorite places. The sound of wind and waves, the sun reflecting on shimmering water, the hot crunch of sand under my feet - there is something about it that just makes me feel both small and totally alive. But, in all my visits and days spent splashing in the surf, never once did I step foot into the shallow tide water and it move out of my way. Not even a little...

On two occasions (one was apparently not enough) God caused the waters to cease for His children in order to give them a clear passage to where He was leading them. Don't miss the profound truth here. God will cause waters to dry and rivers to halt if it means getting you to your Promised Land.

Did you hear that? Just checking...

Well, we must not have gotten the point, because Jesus used the same message with a different obstacle. This time, instead of water - he points at earth, a mountain to be exact. We are told that if we have faith, we can say to a mountain "Move!" and it will.

Mountains and water hold equally daunting mysteries - they embody that which appears immovable, unchangeable and unfathomable. And yet it is HERE that our God says - "Trust Me, have faith in ME and I will show you that there is NOTHING I cannot do. I can bring you through the waters OR I can empower you to walk over them. There is no mountain I can not move or give you strength to climb" (and just an FYI - if God calls you to climb the mountain - He might just show up at the top).

Friends, if there are mountains in your way or rivers in your path - keep moving, keep believing and be amazed at the power of our God. And when you get to the other side, tell someone... It is God's story, but amazingly enough, He is using us to write it. Now get moving...

"If you have faith, you will say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move; and nothing will be impossible to you" - Jesus

Which Comes First...

2006-01-10T08:32:00.000-08:00

...the Question or the Answer?

In a roundtable of conversation last night regarding what it looks like to be a person having found the "life" that Jesus speaks of, my mind began to drift. Below are the buoys of truth I bumped into in the current:

God's faithfulness has NEVER been dependent on the faithfulness of His children.

We have a history that shows Him using us in spite of us.

There is a canyon of difference between escape and deliverance.

Escape is by my effort, deliverance is by someone else's.

God's greatest works of art are displayed through lives of redemption.
Need a reminder, read Hebrews 11 - these weren't perfect people, not even close - they were self-centered liars and adulterers. God listed them as having faith worth following - do we? Need another reminder, look at a rainbow. Need another reminder, look in the mirror

God is big enough to handle our questions.
He allowed Job 37 chapters of "why's" before reminding him of Who he was dealing with. Go ahead, He can take it...

Faith is tested and proven when YOU can't fix it... whatever "it" is.
When your back is against a wall or a Red Sea, to quote Moses (you can't go wrong in quoting Moses) stand still and watch the Lord save you.

Having a "life" cannot be seen in how we live, rather it is displayed by how we die...

"Whoever saves his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life, for My sake will find it" - Jesus

Merry Christmas

2005-12-22T13:51:00.000-08:00

Only two more shopping days until.... Holiday! Hilarious, that line was played out on Saturday Night Live last weekend and it still makes me laugh... Now, don't get me wrong - I'm all for Christmas and I'm all for calling it Christmas, but I do have to wonder if when someone wishes me a Happy Holiday and I respond "Merry Christmas" does it really matter THAT much for the Kingdom of God? Does Jesus care what we call an evergreen with lights on it? Are we showing the world who Jesus is and what He came for in our heated demands to stop shopping at Target until they use "Christmas" for what??? their commercialism of Jesus' birthday.

I'm having a hard time swallowing this pill. Didn't Jesus come to break all of the labels? He lived unconventionally and made a point to call others to do so.

When I was in Turkey on a mission trip in 2002 while engaging a young Turk in conversation about religion, we were discussing the differences between what he had heard of Christianity and what it actually was according to the Scriptures. He kept saying, "So, to go to Heaven, I must become a Christmas?" It was endearing but I recognized that his misnomer was based upon language gap, not theological error. Sadly, this young man had a somewhat true estimation of American Christianity - Homogenized, UnAuthentic and rarely Life Changing - carry a religious business card, flash the name occasionally, attend a few meetings & give to the cause.

Jesus tore down our labels in order to put us all under one banner - His love. Actually, we aren't even "Christians" by Christ's own mouth - we are, in a word, FORGIVEN. That is worth celebrating...

We are who Christ called to be "lights" in a dark world and showing love sends a message of faith brighter than any 1.99 strand of twinklers on a tree.

"My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one: I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me. "Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world. "Righteous Father, though the world does not know you, I know you, and they know that you have sent me. I have made you known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them." John 17: 20-26